“I admit to you,
mom raised me alone, without a dude, so I got some issues.
I could say ‘I DO’.
But before I do you should know some things that have been through.
Pops was not a nice dude.
He tried to kill my mother this one time, I was still in the womb.
So does that make me the fool?
‘Cause when I call him up now & then & say “I Love You”, it’s true.
I left home at fifteen.
Was dating this dude, 9 yrs older, wasn’t as weird as it seems.
‘Cause he treated me better than I had ever been.
And to this day, that fact’s still the same.
That same year, I was assaulted with a gun.
These dudes locked me in a room, molested me for fun.
I swear I would scream or I’d run,
If I told my pops they done…
But I thought of they’re mothers with dead sons –
And that’s empathy.
I wish I was cold.
‘Cause if I was I coulda stripped for a dollar, but I couldn’t risk my soul –
so I didn’t.
I left school, came back, finished.
Went to college, graduated with honors, but Get This:
Memories my mind conveniently erases.
Strange homes alone, got touched in strange places.
That’s why I freak out when you touch me and I’m sleeping,
I don’t know it’s you, it’s just my past evil demons, and they plenty.
They haunt me all the time.
I ain’t ready for love.
I never knew who he was, or when he met me.
So I looked for him in all the wrong places,
Got used by more than one dude, in fact most of ‘em was fakin’.
So when you talk about making a life?
I think about the two I killed already, it’s too late for me right?
Yah, you could make me your wife.
But why would you wanna?
I got problems… so go on (go on… go on…).”