Some things you know before you see it,
some dudes react and turn wicked on you.
Pack a pistol,
master of manipulation,
twist mentals.
Easy w/ the metal 'cause my father had a sawed off.
The second in the glove box,
the rest in the arsenal - Locked up.
Until he got locked up.
And that would be about the same time I returned home and got Knocked Up.
Didn't keep it - that would be an MTV Special story later -
who'da thought, at the time, what I'd get into?!
Spawn of a criminal,
the boys wanna talk.
Walk late, holdin' hands in the park, then rip my skirt off.
I scream, kick and punch - now he's tremblin' and sowin' it up.
Yup.
the red thread reminded me of blood.
Every dude I met looked like the one.
Lessons will come eventually,
for now I'm sexually seeking some self love.
Funny how the rest'll unfold:
my life on these pages,
the phases of mind states that I'd relate all over stages.
I'm caged and debated
taking my life.
My mother saved me first time,
2 times - it was a boy that I like.
(right)
I got it lucky - crack in the crib to crackin' books in college.
My old town? They strangled this dude w/ a condom -
and disposed of him right out the balcony like he was garbage...
I'll never forget.
Grateful for the friends that I met.
You don't believe me when I speak than ask 'em what I confess.
I don't swear on noone's head 'cause its the truth that I said.
Alright - ok then - where was I then?
Wanted to prove em all wrong,
determination: in college I got the honors.
Desired by the opposite sex,
for every dude I connect with I could list at least a thousand I dissed.
Appetite for depth -
something I'm missin',
I left
Monday Morning,
Illmatic - still classic - playin' in my walkman.
I got a soft spot for the bricks and lofts -
cityscapes lost in.
Found my way to GOD at the bottom.
Grace & Mercy!
I'm turnin' 30 now...
surely I have come from one place, but there's another road I'm headed down.
Met him at the mall in the fall
(psych!)
nah - I didn't.
But I know I'll meet him when God's completely finished.
Lovin' in Me.
Coulda been food for a tree,
or a baby moms,
a crack fiend,
instead I am free!
Able to be not just a story,
humble testimony from me
Now feel the glory that's comin' from up above...
One Love.